On the Border

After visiting Mexico and learning about the country's current political and economic status for myself, I began to understand (as only an outsider can) why Mexicans risk their lives and thus the lives of their families to illegally cross the border into America. 

A. Drug cartels have infiltrated Mexico (and the media) by silencing opposition with threats and heinous acts of violence.

B. 18.2% of Mexicans live below the poverty line (that's 20 million people, by the way).  The CIA World Factbook mentioned that "rich nations generally employ more generous standards of poverty than poor nations."  So I'm guessing their poverty looks a bit different than American poverty.  America's response to the poverty =NAFTA.  However, many people criticize NAFTA  for crippling farmers in Mexico by forcing them to compete with cheap (due to subsidies) high-yielding GM corn crops in America.  I believe there is a definite connection between the poverty level and NAFTA.

Partner in Tocallo

So I made more cookies and knocked on more doors!  The first family I visited (well, I only met the daughter) recently moved to San Antonio from a little town in east California.  The daughter attends UTSA full-time and is working towards a Bachelors of Arts in sociology with the desire to become a social worker in high schools.  She said people discourage her because social worker salaries are low.  Isn't that unfortunate?  Where would our society be if everyone discouraged future firefighters, police officers, teachers, and social workers from pursuing their passion and source of fulfillment?

The other neighbor introduced herself as Magdalena, the grandmother of the house.  She is living with her son, his wife, and their son.  When I told her my name, she said, "Oh! We are tocallo!   That is the Spanish word for two people who share the same name."  I was astonished that there was actually a word for that.  I love foreign languages!  While I didn't get the chance to meet the rest of her family, I am excited to learn more about my partner in "tocallo".

A new beginning...again

Let's face it, transitions are rough and always on our doorstep.  Actually, life is a steady stream of transitions.  At some point, we either learn how to cope with change or we waste our energy desperately trying to paddle upstream.  So I've decided to embrace the unknown path before me with God as my trusty navigator and the Holy Spirit as the current that will carry me when I have no idea where we are going.

My "adjustment" plan begins with integration into local communities - neighborhood, church, UTSA. 

I. The neighbors:In order to start building friendships here, I  thought I would meet the neighbors first.  So, I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and went knocking on doors!  My first stop was the house diagonal to ours (to the r ight).  A timid young girl slowly opened the door and said, "Hello?"  I introduced myself and then the mother arrived at the door and welcomed me into their house to chat.  Deb and Daniel have 4 children (Steven, Torri, Danny, and Nicki...in that order).  Daniel is currently deployed to a Naval base in Germany while Deb looks after the kiddos and manages the household.  I truly admire military families.  


Then, the house directly across from us.  This family was incredibly welcoming!  After I rang the door bell, Shirley (the grandmother) opened the door with a big smile on her face saying, "Hi! Come on in!"  before I could even fully introduce myself.  This woman had no idea who I was (only that I was a neighbor) and still she welcomed me into her home with open arms.  That level of trust is dwindling in our world today.  Although I was carrying a plate of chocolate chip cookies... maybe that's the secret!


Today, I hope to bake one more batch of cookies and meet the two remaining neighbors.  I'll let you know how it goes!

Psalm 138

                         I
I thank you, LORD, with all my heart;
      before the angels to you I sing. 
I bow low toward your holy temple; 
      I praise your name for your fidelity and love.  
For you have exalted over all
      your name and your promise.
When I cried out, you answered;
      you strengthened my spirit.

That's what I love about Sundays...

I love Sundays!  My schedule varys greatly, but my favorite Sundays usually include:

1. 9am Children's Mass at St. Peter's (which is energetic, innocent, and beautiful)
2 Wedging myself into a comfy chair and reading the Worcester Telegram while sipping on coffee and clipping coupons
3. Singing in Choir at the 11:15am Mass
4. Cooking
5. ESL lesson planning/laundry/Blogging/grocery shopping
6. A long run in a nearby State park or forest

LOVE IT!

The homily at Mass today paralleled conflict resolution during the early days of our Church and the resolution of current issues within the Catholic Church today.  Msg. Scollen stressed that the "conflicts" witnessed in St. Paul's time are till relevant today and still require our thoughtful attention- culture integration, gender roles, placement of authority, etc.  I was struck by one verse in particular from the Gospel reading,  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give [peace] to you. (John 14:27).  Not as the world gives....for me, this holds great significance!  No matter how many worldly possessions or public accolades we receive, true peace will always be beyond our grasp if we never look to God.  If we seek fulfillment through the world, then we will never attain it.  True fulfillment is through God.

A Long Time Gone

What a ride the past two and a half months have been!  Lent was powerful, Easter Sunday was joyful (Easter week included daily celebrations!), my birthday was amusingly momentous, all the while I trained for my first big race, the Lehigh Valley Half-Marathon in Allentown, PA.  If you would have told me a year ago that I would run a successful Half-Marathon, I would have denied it to the ends of the earth.  Just goes to show that one can never underestimate oneself.  We are often capable of much more than we imagine!  Anyhow, the course was really fun - we meandered through a beautiful tree-filled park (~6 mi), then ran through 2 covered bridges (quintessentially PA) and finished in a large stadium with hundreds of people lining the last leg of the run.  What a memorable experience!  I finished 7 minutes earlier than I thought I would - my time: 2h 3min.  Not too bad for a first try...  Thinking about registering for another Half in late June!

Honestly, training for the run was just as enjoyable as the race itself.  The scheduled long-runs gave me an excuse to check out some of the beautiful State forests and parks near Worcester, MA.

1. Moore State Park

2. Wells State Park

3. Blackstone Heritage Park

4. Douglas State Forest

5. Spencer State Forest

1. Moore State Park

I visited this historical park in the winter, so the dirt trails were too snowy to enjoy, but the old buildings and trees seemed more idyllic covered in snow.  This 400 acre park used to be the site of a grist and saw mill from 1747 to the early 1900s.  That said, there are two beautiful waterfalls that long ago moved a wooden wheel and saw blades, now spills into a rushing stream.  I can't wait to visit this park again in the Spring.  Supposedly, the rhododenrons and azaleas are a sight to behold!

ps. thanks to Elizabeth G. for the photos.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive You

About a month ago, I was in the midst of an internal war with myself.  I was bombarded with self-doubt and confusion that slowly corroded my spirit and poisoned my faith.  I began to question the meaning of my life and my worthiness to be blessed with so many incredible gifts - a loving family, supportive friends, security, a healthy body.  My doubt originated from dwelling on the sins of my past and by allowing the guilt of those sins to weigh down upon my soul.  All of my grievances were afreshed and the pain of those decisions renewed.  Considering my past, present, and future sins, why would God deem me worthy of beautiful blessings rather than someone else more holy and worthy?  Yes, my past is cluttered with misgivings, but beyond human reason, God loves me and has chosen me for a purpose.
                                                                     Why?

After the smoke cleared and the debris settled, I began to reconstruct my spirit via Scripture.  My focus was St. Paul's letters to the Corinthians.

1. We cannot earn grace nor perform good deeds so as to be worthy of God's love.
Ch 2, 3: 1; 4-6  Are we beginning to commend ourselves again?   Such confidence we have through Christ toward God.  Not that ourselves we are qualified to take credit for anything as coming from us; rather our qualification comes from God, who has indeed qualified us as ministers of a new covenant..."

2. God's grace is enough to remove my sins (however unforgivable I think they are).  My weaknesses give me the opportunity to surrender to God so that he may He may shine through.
Ch 2,12: 9  "God said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."

3. Don't compare yourself to others!  God made you with a specific purpose that no one else can fulfill. 
Ch 1, 12:14 -   Now the body is not a single part, but many.  If an ear should say, "Because I am not an eye I do not belong to the body," it does not for this reason belong any less to the body.  If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? 
But as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended.

4. We can glorify God by fulfilling our purpose - not by dramatic acts of heroism, but by small acts of great humility (Love).
Ch 1, 13:1  If I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

Whenever I feel doubt seeping back into my spirit, I read these Scripture verses again and place all of my confidence in God our Father.  He is the fountain of Life and the perfection of Love  - unconditional and immortal.